When you are going through a divorce, the process will inevitably put a great deal of demand on your time, energy, and focus. There are emotional issues that need to be confronted – the issues that triggered the divorce as well as the feelings you are dealing with as it is happening – as well as legal issues such as who will receive what property, which parent gets custody of the children, child support, and alimony. If there are children involved, you will also need to consider the effect this process will have on them, which depends largely on their age, personalities, and other individual circumstances.
There is no doubt that getting divorced is a difficult season of life, but you will get through it, and there are better things waiting for you on the other side. While you are going through the process, it can be helpful to put your thoughts down on paper or in electronic form. Keeping a divorce journal can give you a helpful emotional outlet; and documenting these events will also prove useful in many other ways as well.
Here are some of the benefits that divorcing spouses can receive from keeping a journal:
Document Important Events: With everything that happens during a divorce, it is easy to get overwhelmed with all the things you have to do and forget many of the day-to-day details. A divorce journal is a convenient tool for documenting and recording the process, what happened each day, your feelings, what the kids are dealing with, and other information. Getting all of this recorded every day will help ensure that you don’t forget important details, some of which may be useful for you during the legal process as well. All you really need is about 15 to 30 minutes per day to record a journal entry, then you will have it as a permanent record going forward. This can be especially helpful during litigation if, for instance, you are embroiled in a child custody battle and need a way to document issues or incidents of note regarding visitation.
Record Your Thoughts without Judgment: Those who are going through a divorce can often receive strong support from close family members and friends, but sometimes you may feel apprehensive about telling them everything you’re going through. The one thing that is always true about a journal is that it won’t talk back to you and it won’t judge you. You can tell your journal anything you want, and you can share your deepest feelings without ever having to worry about how it will react to what you say.
Reflect Upon and Analyze your Feelings/Emotions: As you go along with the divorce, you will have your journal there to look back on the days that pass and reflect on how you are feeling at various times. This can be very useful not only for yourself, but also if you are receiving any type of counseling or professional help to get your through the divorce. You can bring your journal into counseling sessions with you, so you can recall your daily thoughts and feelings more accurately, and so you can begin to see the progress in your emotional recovery.
Your Journal is Always Available: If you are seeing a professional or you are talking with those who are close to you about your divorce, they may not always be available when you want to talk. With professional counseling, for example, you will usually need to schedule an appointment unless it is an emergency. The good thing about your journal is that you can always pick it up and start writing in it – no matter what time of the day or night.
Look Back and Recall Events After this Season is Over: When the divorce process is finalized, you will be ready to move on to better things. And as you move forward with your new life and your divorce gets further away in your rearview mirror, it will become increasingly difficult to remember the details. Having a divorce journal allows you to keep a permanent record of that season in your life, so you can recall and look back on these events long after they are all over—not to dwell on previous hard times, but to look gratefully at how far you’ve come.
Tell Your Story: Having a detailed record of your divorce gives you a compelling story that you can share with others who you meet later on that are going through what you went through. There is no doubt you will have learned many valuable lessons by the time this is all over, and knowing your story will allow you to share these lessons and potentially spare others some of the difficulty that you had to deal with.
You Don’t Need to be a Writer, Just Write!
Some people get uneasy about starting a journal, because they feel like they don’t know what they should write about, or they don’t think they can write as elegantly as they should be able to. None of this matters. It is not so important what you write about, just that you write something. It also makes no difference how good a writer you are, because your journal is for private consumption. You can choose to share some of what you have written with others, but you could also choose to keep everything to yourself. It is all up to you.
Contact a Skilled and Compassionate South Carolina Divorce Attorney
If you are facing a divorce, keeping a journal can be a very helpful and productive way to get you through the process. During this difficult season, it is also very important to work with a lawyer who not only has the depth of legal experience necessary to fully protect your interests, but someone who will also be a strong advocate and a good friend.
If you are in upstate South Carolina, we invite you to get in touch with the Cate Law Firm for legal help. Message us online or call our Spartanburg, SC our office today at (864) 585-4226 to schedule a consultation. We look forward to serving you!
Cate & Brough, P.A.
