Going through a divorce is challenging, both emotionally and practically. People are often unsure how to approach the legal process or their relationship with their attorney. By understanding a few simple dos and don’ts, you can avoid common pitfalls and make the divorce process smoother.
Understanding the True Nature of the Divorce Process
Divorce is not about seeking revenge or getting back at your spouse. It’s about dividing assets and arranging custody for any children involved. While emotions often run high, it’s important to remember that from a legal standpoint, divorce is a business transaction. The court aims to divide property fairly and ensure both parties can move forward.
Too often, people view the divorce process as a means of getting back at their spouse. A perfect example of this is alimony—which is not meant as punishment. It is intended to help support the spouse who may need financial assistance, but both parties will likely end up with a lower standard of living than before. When you have one bucket of money and have to divide it, you can’t expect things not to change. Saying you want to keep up your lifestyle is simply not feasible. Many people don’t want to accept this. Some people won’t realize how overextended they are financially until the records are open.
The court’s primary focus is on fairness, not blame. Proving the grounds for divorce allows the divorce to be granted; it doesn’t impact how assets are divided, though it may affect decisions about attorney fees.
Building a Good Relationship with Your Attorney
Be open and honest with your attorney. While you may be tempted to withhold certain information—perhaps because you’re worried it might hurt your case or become public record—doing so can be a big mistake. Your attorney can’t help you if they don’t have the whole picture. The other side often knows more than you think, and if you lie or hold back information, it can damage your credibility. There may be times when the other side asks you questions in a deposition that they already know. Don’t lie then because you had previously withheld it from your lawyer. Give your chosen legal counsel the chance to protect you.
For instance, you must tell your attorney if you have income from a side job or financial accounts that haven’t been disclosed. If the other side finds out and you haven’t disclosed it, it can severely harm your case. Honesty is crucial. Your lawyer is there to guide you, but they need all the facts to do so effectively.
One of the biggest challenges in a divorce is organizing and providing financial documents. This includes account statements from the date of marriage to the date of filing. If you give these documents early, your case will likely proceed much faster. A significant part of litigation is fighting over information. Litigation is costly, and in some cases, it is entirely avoidable. When your documents are missing, or you take too much time gathering them, it slows everything down. The more transparent and organized you are, the more efficient the process will be.
Reach Out for Compassionate Advocacy
If you’re considering a divorce or are already in the process, speak with a family law attorney who can guide you. At Cate & Brough, we understand the challenges that will help you achieve the best outcome for you and your family. Schedule a consultation with us so we can learn more about you. We’re your partner as much as we are your advocate.
Cate & Brough, P.A.
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